So, everything is energy. Energy expresses itself in many forms. Some are positive and some are negative. Because of this, we must be very careful what type of energy we allow around us at all times. In order to do that, you must learn to distinguish between good and bad energy. Most importantly, your life will be influenced by the type of energy and people that you spend your time with most frequently. You attract more of what you are currently putting out to the Universe. The Universe does not care, it’s all the same to it.
If you want more negative energy, keep sending negative thoughts out to the world. If you want more abundance, express the energy of abundance and you will attract even more of it. If you want to grow and attract more to your life but your partner wants to stay stuck -you might want to evaluate that relationship to determine if it serves your highest good. Likely, you will just be giving your good energy away and not getting much back in return. The same is true for friendships. Feeling drained by a person, whether it is family, your partner, a friend or boss is a huge indicator of incompatible energy. Surround yourself with people that have genuine gratitude and appreciation for you. Surround yourself with good energy and watch your life amplify in the most magical way.
I could write an entire book about boundaries. Often, our boundaries are learned or modeled from our family of origin. In therapy, it is one of the most valuable conversations to have with clients. So often, we are unable to set healthy boundaries with others in our lives. This can cause huge distress to our minds, bodies and even our homes. The irony in having good positive energy is that everyone wants some. You will find yourself with those needing your energy in your life.
Recognizing this when it happens and being able to put self-love boundaries in place will change your life. You don’t have to cut them completely out of your life, although you can if you feel that is what is needed. But you can learn how to control how much of your time and energy you give these energy vampires. You can still love someone and limit their role in your life.
If you are an empath, meaning you feel and empathize with the energy or suffering of others – basically anyone who is a healer- your energetic boundary is naturally weaker than someone who is not an empath. Any type of trauma can weaken your energetic boundary making you more vulnerable to energetic invasion by others. Weak energetic boundaries lead to lack of self-love and self-care. This leads to increased sensitivity to EMF radiation, toxins, chemicals and an overall weaker immune system. After getting Lyme Disease, I developed a severe sensitivity to mold, chemicals, even certain food ingredients. I had to learn how to set boundaries and heal myself before I could heal others.
Energy vampires are like heat seeking missiles for those with weak energetic boundaries. And, to be fair not all energy vampires realize what they are doing consciously. They are just trying to get their unmet needs met. Empaths often fall into this because of their desire to heal others. We think we can love the world and make them better. I say we because I too am an empath and I spent many hours wasted on energy vampires over the years. In therapy we usually see an energy vampire (borderline personality disorder, narcissist, or just plain attention needy) person in a relationship with a co- dependent personality type who has weak permeable boundaries. We just don’t discuss it in energetic terms but it is the same.
Identifying the energy vampire starts with reading the energy of others and listening to what you feel in your body when around them. Mind and body connection should always be developed and the stronger this is, the better you will become at recognizing vampires. They take energy from others to sustain their own needs and unplug when their needs have been met, regardless of your needs. These are the people that call you and talk about themselves for thirty minutes then say goodbye leaving you to wonder why you even answered the call. Sometimes, people are going through temporary situations and they really do need it to be all about them. This is okay as long as they acknowledge this to you.
Physical symptoms of being drained energetically include feeling depleted and exhausted all of the time. If you need a nap after seeing your mother-in-law- well you know what I ‘m going to say. Pain at the base of your head where it meets the neck is another tell tell sign. You might have bad dreams or be restless after being around an energy vampire. Once this happens enough, you will start to dread seeing or talking to them. You might even be resentful that you have to engage with them at all.
If you are an energetic empath, you must be so careful selecting what you give your attention to on a daily basis. You also need a home that supports you a hundred times more than the average person. Self-care is essential for you to thrive in life. Grounding your energy daily, time in nature, clearing negative energy from your body and home, and releasing cords to toxic people are all things that you can do to set energetic boundaries. Taking time to recharge your energy is your responsibility and it is not selfish to do so. You will not be good for anyone else if you cannot be good for yourself my dear ones. It took me half of my life to learn this lesson. But it is never too late to love yourself and protect your energy.
Simply put, a boundary is giving yourself permission to say no to someone else without guilt or shame. It means realizing that your needs are just as important as those of others in your life. It is saying yes when we want to and no when we do not want to, without sacrificing ourself for someone else. It is realizing that you are only responsible for your own emotions dear one, no one else’s. It’s just that simple.
Until next time,